Loose Speaking
Event Invitation

Event Invitation

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Insecurities and Lack of Spine

My mother often tells me I need to grow a back bone and that I let people walk all over me. The thing is she has even LESS of a back bone than I do myself. On top of that she is greedy and selfish, she’d never stand up for me and my sister unless it benefit her in some way. She’d never fight for us. The worst part is that it’s not that she tries and then retreats with her tail between her legs, it’s that she goes RIGHT to “yeah, you’re right” or “that’s true” when she even mentions a subject to someone. I’ve seen her do it countless times to other people, about my sister. And I know she’s done it about me.

It’s sad. She says I have no spine and that I am the most selfish person she knows. True or not, I must of learned from her, right?

She’s a mess full of insecurities, lack of emotion, and hypocrisy. Sometimes I feel bad for her, but she’s an “adult”, a mother, a daugher, and a grandmother and needs to grow the fuck up. If I, at my age, can come face to face with my issues and try to deal with them and try to be a better person; she can too.

Neutral - If there is no god

I always wondered if nuns and priests and other people who sacrifice a regular life for their beliefs would be glad for it or regret it if there really is no god.

Part of me thinks most of them would regret it. Spending so much time and energy on a belief that turned out to be false.

But another part of me thinks they won’t regret it and will instead feel sorry for the rest of us who put other things before religion (money, love, family, ect). Even if it turns out there is no god, maybe they will love the time they spent in meditation or just doing good works for others in the name of god.

Without going into my own beliefs or religion since I don’t want to color this post as anti-religion or pro-religion, I wonder, am I the only person who has thought of this?

to each their own

I see a lot of complaining about people’s behavior on tumblr, “attention whore” stuff. What I don’t understand is, what’s the point of the complaining? If someone seems to be an “attention whore,” what’s the problem? They probably need attention and are trying to get it. In my book, recognizing my needs and doing what I can to get them met is a positive. Just because we don’t always have sophisticated skills when it comes to getting our needs met, well, it just strikes me as sad that people would be unkind to someone who is obviously struggling. (For what it’s worth, I feel the same about the people who complain about things. They’re doing what they need to do, too.)

I’m thinking about this mostly in terms of the people who quit and restart tumblr, maybe again and again (as I have). I feel it’s my job in life to let people know that whatever they need to do is just right. Because, it’s true. And, it’s what most people in their darkest times don’t believe. Most people are really, really hard on themselves.

The most misery I’ve felt in life comes from when I’m trying to get things to be different than they are. The most insanity (and, therefore, insane behavior on my part) comes from trying to get other people to be different than they are.

My whole point is, to those of you who maybe announce your thoughts of quitting tumblr or Twitter and you post about it (with or without the goal of asking people to tell you to stay) and then you feel really good when people say “don’t go!” and that helps you change your mind: you are not bad or weak for doing that. At least in my opinion. I know I’m not the only one who feels it’s okay. When someone I know thinks about quitting I say, do whatever you need to do, but if/when you come back, please know you don’t have to feel embarrassed. Most of us have been there.

And, really, when it comes to fucking up things in general, who hasn’t been there? Maybe we could all be a little more gentle with each other.

I notice when many people post something to tumblr that is deeply personal and touching and heartfelt they often receive a huge amount of likes and comments on the post, it makes you feel warm and good about the community here.

Until I post one and am bowled over by the resounding relative silence which echoes back at me. Sometimes I’ll get a few likes, maybe ten or so, but rarely any comments at all and sometimes less than ten likes.

I figure maybe they just have way more followers then I do, maybe that’s it. Then some of those same people post their follow count and I see that I have more than they do.

I guess in the end what it comes down to is that people in this community think of me and see me as the clown, nothing more. Great for entertaining them and being lighthearted and fun but when I try to get serious they don’t give half a shit about me personally and just wish I’d start being funny again.

Maybe this community isn’t the right one for me after all.

Invitation

Invitation

As the World Falls Down…

I am so scared…
Sometimes I allow myself to be crippled by the fear I feel. I allow it to take me over and halt my growth. I stay the same and I don’t get any better. Sometimes I hold on so tight. I don’t let go, I tell myself it will work, it will be okay; I give in to delusions. 
But, maybe I am not wrong. I believe in fighting. I put love and emotion above ALL else. Why not fight for it? Why does everyone else give up? Do things sometimes not work even if you make them?
I told him that our chemistry is great, it’s been so long, we love each other. Let’s make it work. Even I know it won’t work if he doesn’t think it will. Then why does he want to stay together?
I think he is more scared than I am.

Attention Please

Recently I’ve seen a bunch of people telling us that they are leaving tumblr for one reason or another.  I get that.

What pisses me off are the people that say that they are leaving tumblr because their real lives have too much going on, etc. yet reappear a couple of days later after their tumblr wake brings out alot of “please don’t go”, “we will miss you”, “life is miserable without you” etc.

You sir/maam are the quintessential attention whore.

Somewhere Sally Field is shedding a tear for you for your performance and mouthing the words “you like me now, you really like me!”

In my personal experience I always consider moral and other factors when deciding who to vote for, making sure to keep in mind how important certain issues are to me. This is especially important to me because I fully agree with neither party and pretty strongly agree with both of them on specific issues. I also consider the position, for instance I would prefer a different type of candidate for the office of president than for local library controller or something like that.

After considering all the factors I find that I only rarely vote based on a moral issue. While they do come into play I’ve voted for people who I disagree with on moral grounds much more often than those I disagree with on some other political issue.

I had always thought people voted pretty much one of three ways; like I do, blindly following a party, or basically with their eyes shut (this last one explains some election results). I suppose I could be wrong on that assumption and people may vote some other way, I really don’t know.

But, I do feel that if someone votes based on a specific moral issue then they are doing so because that issue is more important to them than the other issues of the election. It is certainly their right to vote in that way. And, if they are so horribly unhappy with the results of the election perhaps they should reconsider their vote the next time they have a chance to be heard because that’s how a republic works.

I get butterflies

When I see something you post and I know 100% that it is for me and only me. :)

Wisconsin

How many of those protesting teachers voted Republican because of abortion? Or because they are terrified of their son sucking his husbands dick?

Keep listening to Glenn Beck you simpletons.

Keep voting against the boogeyman. See where it gets you.

When you post your crush box and the top crush is someone I find really annoying, I think long and hard about unfollowing you. How could you love this person so much when I hate them so much? What do we have in common that links us together? 

For the love of all that is holy:

Please stop with the cries for attention. I know this is a lot like a post a little further down the page, but I need to get it off of my chest.

There aren’t many things in life that I can promise you, but I can promise you this:

If you don’t start posting something besides threats of nudity that no one wants to see or pleas for someone to call/email/stick something in your ask box, I will unfollow you! 

I realize you think that you are being funny. Ha Ha. I laughed, now stop it. I’ve been following you for three or four months now and no nothing about you except one of the things that you like to do in your free time and how mother fucking needy you are.  I think that you are a nice person, I really do. That’s why I don’t unfollow, but enough is enough. Time to move on with the story. 

There’s a line between being a strong, hard-headed woman who “speaks her mind” and being a huge bitch.

I wish someone would let you know when you cross that line in every single post you make.